ellie

This post might be one of the hardest post I've ever had to write. I can't pull all my thoughts together to try to explain our situation right now. I know so many of you have asked when Ellie will come home. That is a question we don't know. She is a healthy sweet baby girl, and we are more than ready to have her in our home to love and adore her. To have a child in the nicu for almost 3 weeks is emotional, heart breaking, and for sure not fun, but it's our life right now. There is nothing we can do about it, and she is in the right place for now. I can't begin to tell you all what your texts, calls, e-mails, cards, meals, gifts, and mostly your sweet prayers have done for our family.
So you all want to know why she is still in the nicu and what's going on. Ellie is having good and bad days taking her feedings by bottle. She tries very hard to get her 65 cc's down every 4 hours, and acts very interested in her eating but about 25 cc's into her bottle she begins to struggle. She has trouble breathing through the swallowing motion and then begins to choke some. Her heart rate drops when she begins to choke and typically she doesn't get her entire bottle down. So the rest of her milk goes in her nasal feeding tube. For the nicu standards we have to have her taking her entire bottle by mouth before she can go home. If she doesn't get to this point in the next week of so- we will be sent home with a feeding tube in her stomach. Our prayer is that we won't have to go this route. We are trying as hard as we can to have faith that is faith i've never felt before. I see my baby struggle, choke, things that are heart breaking for a mom and dad- but she is trying. Ellie is my little "faith" in my life. She has good bottle feedings and not so good feedings- and that's our reality right now. She is gaining weight each day and loves to be held. I can't wait for you all to meet her- she will brighten your hearts like she has ours. But, if you are led to pray for our little girl- I can't thank you enough and I do thank you in advance for your faithfulness to our LORD!
We are doing ok- Mike and I have our good and bad days as well. We are weary from going back and forth to the nicu trying to give her as many bottles a day as we can to try and learn her eating patterns. I am thankful for our salvation- the hope we can find in our daily walk with God. It's not easy and my questions are constant with doctors and God. But the verse He has given me through all of this is, "My promises are new every morning!"